Should Managers Be Friends with Their Team?
When Summer Changes the Vibe
It was a Friday evening in July.
The sun was dipping low over the city, the air smelled faintly like grilled food from the street below, and my team and I were on a rooftop patio, clinking glasses after a busy week.
We were swapping vacation stories, laughing about a shared inside joke, and debating the best ice cream flavors.
In that moment, I didn’t feel like “the boss.”
I felt like part of the group.
And then I caught myself wondering—
Is that a good thing?
The Pull Toward Friendship
Summer has a way of making teams feel closer.
Maybe it’s the happy hours, the outdoor lunches, or the fact that half the team is rotating in and out of vacation. The pace feels a little looser, and people have more room for small talk and connection.
Those moments can be powerful:
- They build trust in ways no team meeting ever could.
- They make morale soar when the sun’s shining and everyone’s in good spirits.
- They spark ideas that don’t always surface inside a conference room.
The Line You Can Cross Without Realizing It
But here’s the part that’s easy to overlook.
When you start spending more time with your team outside of work, the lines can blur:
- You might share more than you should.
- You might unintentionally favor certain people over others.
- You might find it harder to have tough conversations when needed.
I’ve felt it myself—trying to coach someone on a performance issue just days after we were laughing over frozen margaritas.
The Balance That Works
What I’ve learned is that being friendly isn’t the problem.
It’s losing sight of the fact that you’re still the leader.
So I’ve built my own guardrails:
- Be inclusive. If I’m joining a team outing, everyone’s welcome.
- Stay aware. Even at a poolside BBQ, I’m still representing my role.
- Check my bias. After social events, I take a moment to reflect—am I treating everyone fairly?
Friendship and Leadership Can Coexist
I believe managers can be friends with their teams—especially in summer when connection feels easy.
You can share laughs over happy hour, trade vacation tips, and compete in the office cornhole tournament.
But you also have to hold onto your role as the person who sets the tone, makes tough calls, and keeps the team on track.
Because when the summer ends and the pace picks up, your team still needs you to be their leader first.
And if you get it right, those summer moments won’t just be fun memories—
They’ll be the trust and goodwill that make the rest of the year stronger.